An Open Letter to My Former Shrink

Dear Dr. F,

You were the 3^rd or 4^th psychologist that I saw to deal with my emontional difficulties that traced back to before my parents' divorce. You were the one I saw for the longest time (at least 4 years) and the one that helped me make the most breakthroughs. I was a much stronger person towards the end of our time together than towards the beginning. So maybe I should thank you.

There's just one thing...

In the winter and spring of 2000, I was finishing up high school, getting ready to go off to college and excited that I would soon become 'an official grown-up' that summer when I turned 18.

You asked me who I was going to vote for.

I explained that I didn't know, that everyone I knew was only talking about Gore and that I agreed with some of his ideas (but I didn't know many of them) and, that one thing I knew was that I didn't agree with him about some of the economics issues.

And what did you do?

Did you try to help me figure out what I meant by that? Did you encourage me to do more research? Did you ask me if I looked up what their competing policies said?

No, you did not.

You used scare tactics.

You warned me that whoever became president would appoint maybe 1, maybe 2, more likely 3 justices to the the Supreme Court over his term. You told me that Gov. Bush (as he was then) would appoint justices that would take away the right to choose and that would just be a horrible thing. There was no possibility of anything else, not even a mention of any other issues that the Supreme Court decides.

I suggested that if it was important to the current justices, they would wait to retire until there was a President that he or she trusted to appoint a good justice in his or her place. You dismissed that idea as hopelessly naive and insisted that 3 justices were going to retire in the next 4 years and if I cared, I would vote...well, you didn't use the term 'the right way', but you certainly implied it.

Well, I didn't vote in 2000. I didn't even register to vote until 2003.

Of course, I don't put all the blame on you. You were one of many that surrounded me in my life who reacted with barely suppressed horror at the idea I might be considering voting for George W. Bush. And it was my fault that I was so unable to have the courage of my convictions that I allowed myself to be intimidated by every Tom, Dick and Harry in my life.

But I am pissed at you.

I trusted you. You were my therapist, you were supposed to help me.

And instead, you used me. Instead of encouraging me to be strong, you encouraged me to be weak and to do what you wanted.



I probably would have forgotten about this. Except for one thing.

People are saying the same things 2004 that you were saying in 2000. The next president will pick the justices on the Supreme Court and don't you people know that 'Dubya' will get ones who take away the right to choose. Don't you know that that would be an unmitigated disaster?

Even if the next president gets to pick justices, there are other things I care about. Stopping local, state and the national government from unfairly using eminent domain. Reversing the horribly misguided and unconstitutional decision about campaign finance reform. And I'd probably think of something else if I wasn't so pissed off that people are using the same pathetic scare tactics that they were using 4 years ago.



But I guess I should thank you Dr. F. Thinking about the timid way I just smiled and nodded when you and people like you said things I disagreed with was one of the reasons that I began this blog, one of the reasons I found my voice.

I won't be silent anymore.

Sincerely,
Dina

She's Ba-ack!

Yes, Dina is back, she is alive and she is better than okay. I had four (yes, FOUR!) whole weeks at Pritikin and learned how to eat and exercise in such a way to make me well.

My cholesterol improved tremendously, I lost nearly 20 pounds and am able to exercise without getting out of breath. I have more energy than I can ever remember having.

Some people were worried about keeping up the eating habits at home...that the temptations would be too difficult. My opinion? That no food tastes as good as feeling this good.

And honestly? I don't even feel tempted. I truly enjoy the food I have learned to cook, and I love the fresh vegetables and could practically live on the spicy tomato soup that I made (and is now fillling up my freezer).

And as far as the temptations go, my one week back (which included two weekends) has had me go out to eat several times, mostly with other Pritikin people, but also once to Mexican with my little brother and once to Italian with my mom, stepdad, Grandpa F, Grandma Ro and my step-Grandma H and once to Applebee's by myself.

At the Mexican place, I ordered something low fat, but I still, quite literally, was unable to eat due to the high salt content. At the Italian place, my stepfather (as normal) ordered veal parmisan. I used to love parmisans (veal, chicken, eggplant) and I liked the smell...but the thought of eating it was unpleasant. The people next to me at Applebee's had an order of riblets and popcorn shrimp...two of my former favorites. The amount of grease made me sick (and more than happy for my salad).

When I first started at Pritikin, the people there said "It's not a diet, it's a lifestyle". I thought that was a load of...well, let's just say I thought it was a line.

Now, I'm totally convinced.