Grandma H's Vote

When my mother married my stepfather B, I also inherited a step-grandmother, my Grandma H. I love Grandma H very much. This has made the past few years difficult as I see her moving through the beginning stages of Alzheimer's.

She's on medication to help stop the progression of the disease, but nothing can reverse it. Thank G-d, she still knows who everyone is; she hasn't lost any of her personal relationships. Her memory troubles centers around following current events and remembering new things. She has recently moved into an assisted living center where they can help her out.

We recently visited her there and it seems like a very nice place (more like a hotel than the hospital I had worried it would be). I'm happy that she seems happy there, but it is still difficult to hear that she is confused about basic events, both national and personal: both elections and outings with my stepfather.

Speaking of which...

While we were there, my stepfather was reminding her that he would be coming on election day to take her to the polls. She asked him who she was voting for.

This wasn't an idle question. She doesn't know who the president is, she certainly doesn't know anyone in more local offices (and, to be perfectly, selfishly, honest, I would rather she forget politicians than me and my family).

But when she asked my stepfather, he didn't respond that it was Bush v. Kerry or even that it was voting for president. Instead B said "Kerry, of course. It's all right, I'll help you."

So basically, today, on election day, my stepfather is voting twice.

Now maybe, Grandma H would have voted for Kerry. In fact, given her demographic, she probably would have (of course, given my demographic of a woman who is young and just out of college living New York, I probably would vote for Kerry...but I'm voting for Bush). And of course her vote doesn't really matter (nor does mine) as New York is definitely going to Kerry.

But something about the way my stepfather just calmly told her who she was voting for (which she has no doubt forgotten and he will have to 'help her remember' today), the way he didn't even hesitate in his assumption in who she would have voted for had she had any idea of who was running or, worse, that he doesn't care...

I've lost a great deal of respect for him. Also for my mom and my Grandma Ro, who laughed and smiled encouragingly when he said this.

Voting is important. This election is important. But it isn't just the outcome that matters, it is also the process. And taking advantage of an elderly woman's memory difficulties is bad enough. It galls me to realize that if it is happening in one case among ordinary people, it is probably happening elsewhere. But when it is my step-Grandma getting taken advantage of, I'm really pissed off.